If you’ve been following the overall thread here, you know that every year I end up lamenting another lame attempt by GoDaddy to represent our industry, domains.
This year, I thought, Bob is gone so maybe, perhaps, GD will put out something good and viral and even…clever?
No, instead they gave me even more reasons to hate them.
There was nothing clever or good or even viral, except the universal disgust, and even worse, there wasn’t anything even kind of sexy about it. And I thought ‘sexy’ is what they did. But they couldn’t even do that.
Candice in front of a congressional panel having a wardrobe malfunction was good and, dare I say, sexy.
But since that first ad, each attempt has been more garish, less sexy, with diminishing returns on the novelty of it all.
In other words, it was already bad (especially given the odd choice of Danica Patrick as their “sex symbol”) but then it kept getting worse.
And now this.
I don’t even remember what was said in the ad, all I remember is the disgusting sight of some sad-sack kid having a LOUD and awkward makeout session with a supermodel.
Loud, yes, LOUD – they felt it necessary to really amp up the juicy noises.
Maybe GD went out of its way to make a bad ad, that would be brilliant. But they didn’t.
No. What they gave us was worse than even Bob could muster and that douche shot an elephant – probably with a hard-on.
And that my friends, is what was missing today: Bob’s wood. For at least Bob added the ‘sexy’.
This ad was not sexy. It was just…gross, disturbing.
So the truth is, and I can’t believe I’ll say this, but today, I missed Bob’s penis.
And the industry? Well GD just made us look bad…again.
Anybody got Candice’s number?
Artist Simon Beck has become a sensation with his “snow circles”, creating concentric spectacles using only his feet as his brush.
Truly, the art, the symmetry, the scale is astounding but there is one thing wrong with this picture. Can you spot it?
Of course, it is not the art itself but the marketing – for if you want to reach out to this great adventurer, you should go to www.facebook.com/snow….
Unfortunately, that is where the pic is cut off and the rest of his profile name remains unknown – as millions look at these pictures and wonder, “who is snow…?”
For as brilliant as Beck may be with his art, he fails at making it easy for people, like sponsoring corporations let’s say, to find and hire him, much less remember his name.
Wouldn’t it be better and more efficient, even profitable to pay up for SimonBeck.com or SBeck.com or SnowArtist.com or even ArtistBeck.com or blah, blah, blah! Am I talking to my shadow?
Because, really, bottom line is all I see is “facebook.com” and once I go there looking for you, chances are very high I will get distracted by someone’s wall post about cleaning out their gutters (Comment: great job buddy!)
And that’s the lesson here, right? By relying on Facebook, you are just another ‘like’ amongst a thousand others – saturated and diluted to the point of numbness. Do you remember anybody’s FB address or do you remember URLs?
Truth is I love this mad snow genius and the works he creates, wish I could buy one somehow, so I penned this as an open letter of praise and criticism and strategy.
For the one thing that is truly wrong with this picture is that your name is not snowshoed in it.
And that’s a damn shame, Mr. Brock, a damn shame.
In the past I took it upon myself, just before a new TLD opened, to remind domainers about America’s founding fathers – those who in effect started their own “registry” and would up largely penniless because of it.
What is the connection? Well, for one, they were very much like domainers – they were speculators.
They bought and bought and bought thinking the land would one day be incredibly valuable. And they were right, they were just off by two hundred years or so.
Sad fact is that there was lots of land back then, everywhere – nearly two thirds of the country unsettled. So buying a plot to hold for speculation was like trying to shoot fish in the ocean – odds are you’ll hit water…but little else.
Of course eventually all the debt caught up with them and, unbeknownst to many Americans, most of the founding fathers died penniless, in debt, burdened by their speculation.
So again, what’s the connection?
Simple, for in the next year you will hear many, many cries from sailors all over the globe yelling “land-ho!!”
And while it may be tempting to follow their voices and invest in their land, I would ask you to remember the men who founded this great nation. Step wisely. Consider where money is best spent before attempting to shoot that blue-fin tuna or swordfish.
For wouldn’t be easier to shoot fish in a barrel?
That’s the idea behind calculating and measuring your risk to the point of stability and growth. I’ve seen many a domainer drown in reg fees while speculating on virgin turf…waiting, waiting, waiting and then dying penniless.
Does that ring a Liberty bell?
Oh sure, there will be some gold in them thar hills but the amount of overburden on top of the precious gravel can bury your bank account before your digger reaches it. Sad but true cautionary anecdote.
Instead, one should think more like the greatest founding father, George Washington, who did not suffer the economic fate of his colleagues. No, Washington’s ‘turf’ sat on the banks of the Potomac River, connected to the ocean while being far inland, protected. Good spot for a…capitol, eh, Georgie?
See what made Washington so great in battle and as President also made him a fascinating, successful figure: attention to detail.
That sort of ‘attention’ to every angle, every nuance, every option is what domainers need to apply to their craft, their ‘weird science’ as it were…before putting themselves in too deep.
With the possible difference being ending up like Washington or like…one of those other guys.
- GoDaddy, Ugh, Does It Again…
- What’s Wrong With This Picture?
- Shooting Fish with George Washington
- Five Big Domain Questions for 2013
- G.uest Post: Predictions for the New Year!
- Ranking the gTLDs – 2012 Edition
- Facebook, Twitter Marketing Madness
- G.uest Post: Going to TRAFFIC? I Wasn’t Nominated
- What is the Contention Process for gTLD Strings?
- Soundboard.com Dumps Flash, Launches in HTML5